If you have ever read C Magazine, you know that the food section consists of delicious-looking desserts and ingredients artistically arranged on an aesthetically pleasing page. Well, that’s what this article was supposed to be, but I failed miserably.

For some reason I thought it was a good idea to sign up to bake fall treats for my article, completely forgetting about the fact that I am  a terrible baker.

I first realized I should not have taken on this task when I couldn’t turn on my oven. Right after that, I should have known I was in over my head. But no—I continued to “bake” (quotation marks around the word bake because I needed my uncle, an actual baker, to assist me with my pumpkin cheesecake.) Anyway, while I was helping my uncle, I was measuring flour in a hard, plastic measuring cup, when the handle snapped off—I managed to break a measuring cup that has lasted years. The use of that baking cup seemed representative of what my baking career should be: over. However, the rest of the process went smoothly, only because I let my uncle do the real work as I stood there watching. My only contribution was turning the mixer on and off, a job at which I was fairly competent.

At this point, my uncle had to leave, and I was left with the responsibility of taking the cheesecake out of the oven to let it cool. One would think nothing more could go wrong… Unfortunately, that was not the case. All I had to do was unlatch a hook on this pan that was made specifically for cheesecakes. I was set up for success, but even so, I somehow managed to break the entire cheesecake in half. I was left with two cheesecakes for the price of one pathetic baker.

One gorgeous fall treat, cut in half, was done. It was time to create another pumpkin masterpiece to add to the collection. However, my mother once again strongly suggested I seek help. My uncle wasn’t available, so I considered turning to the next closest option, his sixth-grade daughter, who can actually bake. But, I had too much pride—not in my baking abilities, but in my need to prove that I am a competent young adult (emphasis on the adult.) So, rather than succumbing to the humiliation consulting an eleven-year-old, I acted like the young adult that I am—I gave up!

There were no additional pumpkin fall treats made. No delicious pumpkin brownies. No simple pumpkin muffins. No delectable mini pumpkin pies. All that was made were “two” individual pumpkin cheesecakes and this testimony to my failure.

Feel free to try to make the pumpkin cheesecake, just make sure you have sturdy measuring cups and a pan that doesn’t chop your cake in half. Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cheesecake Recipe:

For the crust:

1 1/4 cups graham-cracker crumbs (from 10 whole crackers)

1/4 cup sugar

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

For the filling:

4 packages (8 ounces each) bar cream cheese, softened

1 1/4 cups sugar

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 cup canned pumpkin puree

2 tablespoons pumpkin pie spice

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 large eggs, room temperature

Baking Directions: 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with rack in center. Assemble a 9-inch nonstick springform pan, with the raised side of the bottom part facing up.

2. For crust: Mix cracker crumbs, sugar and butter in a medium bowl until moistened; press into bottom of pan. Bake until golden around edges for 10 to 12 minutes.

3. For filling: Beat cream cheese and sugar with an electric mixer on low speed until smooth; mix in flour. Add pumpkin puree, pie spice, vanilla and salt; mix until smooth. Mix in eggs one at a time. Place springform pan on a rimmed baking sheet. Pour filling into springform and smooth top. Place in oven, then reduce heat to 300 degrees. Bake for 45 minutes and turn off oven; leave the cheesecake in the oven for two more hours without opening to prevent the top from cracking.

4. Remove from oven; cool completely. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least four hours (until firm). Unmold, serve and enjoy!